Being a group of girls, it’s only natural that boys pop up in conversations. Three members of the Table are in steady and adorable relationships–including myself. (Almost a year and a half in fact.) While some have the privilege of living a mere 15ish minutes from her boyfriend, some of us have to deal with being miles, hours, states apart. While most people respond with a skeptic “well, if you think you can make it work…,” having the support of each other, friends, and family makes it a lot easier. Believe it or not, a serious relationship can exist when you live in different states. Here are some things I do that help ease the intimidation of a LDR (long distance relationship).
His name is Peter.
We met during the summer before senior year. We have now been dating for almost a year and a half. I used to see him almost every day. Now we’re off at college. He attends Viterbo University in Lacrosse, Wisconsin. I attend Iowa Sate University in Ames, Iowa. That is about a four hour drive. It’s not too bad but it is long distance. How do we make it work?
I’m sure you’ve heard it before: communication is the key to any and all relationships. This is especially true for a LDR and definitely during college. My boyfriend and I text each other every single day. Even a simple “Good morning” and “Sweet dreams” can be enough sometimes. Obviously that cannot be the only communication between a couple. Make time to really have conversations, much like what would happen in person.
Also Skype. Lots of Skype. Without physically seeing the other’s face, your relationship can turn into one of those fictional online ones; both people hiding behind a keyboard. Using Skype (or Facetime or Chat or what not) to connect a face with his or her words can reconnect the human part of the relationship. You can even go on dates with Skype! Each of you grab a mocha from the cafe downstairs and–voila–instant coffee date. Although, for me, it’s more like: me stuffing my face with pasta or chocolate and him reviewing notes while his neighbor vacuums his roommates desk. Close enough.
Something that I do is trick myself into thinking that he’s actually nearby. Since neither of us have cars and we’re both (kind of) swamped with school, it’s easy to make up reasons why the other wouldn’t be able to swing by real quick. The amount of stories we could tell about each others’ college life makes it seem like we were together when it happened. And of course reminiscing about times when we actually were together is nice, too.
People always assume that LDRs fall apart tragically. Some peers tell me horror stories of older siblings who were crushed by a relationship that was not meant to go long distance. (Now that I’m in one, I wonder how the heck things can fall apart like I’ve been told.) Sure I questioned if it was the right thing to do. Initially, I figured taking a break for college would be easy. That way we could both focus on school and not be afraid to “meet new people.” But the closer we grew, the more I realized a break was not an option. Neither of us want even to think about this relationship ending. With LDRs, it’s essential that trust, support, and dedication form a triple threat. If doubt creeps its way in at all, the whole thing can crumble. So I don’t doubt. I can honestly say that I cannot imagine myself with anyone else. Nor can I imagine myself single (even though I was for like, 17 years…). Peter and I put faith in each other and know that the other will always be there no matter what.
So ignore all the haters. If you think your relationship can withstand distance, go for it. It’s not as scary as it seems. Remember that it might take some adjusting and communication is vital. With enough faith and support a LDR can be a breeze, no matter the distance. If you believe in something, it’ll happen.
Here are some cute pictures. It’s actually pretty rare to find photos of us together so these are basically all off them. That’s what happens when you live for the moment, not for the documentation of it.