You Know You Spend Too Much Time Together When…

DISCLAIMER: side effects of a friendship like this may include nausea, headaches, sleep deprivation, new heights of procrastination, weird stares from regular people, disappearing money, disappearing clothes, disappearing books, bruises, and possible mental scarring.

  1. You go out in public and people think your hostility toward each other is real

Anissa: Senior year, Michelé and I were in the same physics class. Besides passing notes in class at all possible moments as if we didn’t have cell phones, we also joked around a lot. And to the outside world, our joking seems like very thinly veiled hostility. One day after class, Michelé and I were joking around and our physics teacher said, “You know, I can’t tell if you two are best friends or worst enemies.” But we are best friends, we swear. Even if it seems like we’re very close to strangling one another at all points in the day.

  1. You nickname each other after famous, dead authors and also after animals

Michelé: Anissa’s animal nickname for me is Ducky which has zero basis, she just chose it because she’s weird and I’m weird.  So then I gave her the name Quiddy which is acuter version of squid because, why not?  Really though, I prefer to call her Hemmy after Hemingway, my counterpart to that being Fitz after Fitzgerald.  We’re both writers and it works out perfectly because Hemmingway and Fitzgerald were real life friends and Hemingway wrote in shorter less descriptive sentences like Anissa and Fitzgerald wrote longer, more imagistic sentences like me.  A perfect union.

  1. When a conversation dissolves into unintelligible screams

Anissa: Once, Michelé and I were sitting on the couch in her house talking about our story (more on that later). And when we talk about our story, we get really into the spontaneous ideas that we create. So we were brainstorming and realized that we actually had to do something bad to one of our characters. We then proceeded to start screaming and making noises that didn’t make any sense other than conveying our overarching sadness. If you’ve never done this, you’re missing out on a form of communication.

  1. When their mom stops being surprised that you’re at her house because she’s accepted the fact that she now has another child‏

Michelé: My house has pretty much always been the hang out house, Anissa, however, has taken that title to a new extreme.  This past summer she literally spent every day at my house for three weeks.  My mom would walk in and say, “Hey, Anissa. You staying for dinner?”  My answer being, “Duh, she’s never allowed to leave.”

  1. When you stop keeping track of who owes who what

Anissa: Freshmen year I think we all tried to make a system of how to pay people back. And then it got ridiculous because someone asked for a quarter that someone owed her. Then we decided that it was a bit too dumb. Now we just buy and lend freely. I mean it all equals out eventually.

  1. When you make numerous plans to go into some kind of business together as adults.

Michelé: Our most successful “business” venture was freshman year when we started a band.  Oh, Whispering Loudly.  I’m really proud of that name actually.  We have over a dozen songs with full sets of lyrics and we practiced a lot.  It got hard when we got busy as upperclassmen (And the fact that only one member actually played an instrument..) but periodically we reminisce and start singing some of our own lyrics.  One of our other ideas was to open a medical practice together because we had the full package.  Three doctors, a nurse, and I was considering psychology.   I’m sure that won’t be our last crazy idea.


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